FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
