bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
