the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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