he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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