i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
