I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
