how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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