If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize