What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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