Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
