Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
