it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
