I heard we made out
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
