i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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