is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
