At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
