Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
