I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Small penises have feelings too.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize