i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
