i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
