All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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