Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
