This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
