yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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