i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
