im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he fucked my hip out of place.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
