sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
