I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
