Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
