Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
it glows. i had to have it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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