508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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