so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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