Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
