the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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