He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
