so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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