the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
