I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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