: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
