I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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