If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
