I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
