It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
