The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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