AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
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I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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