I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
