just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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