benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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