Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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