got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
