ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
