oh god the rape fog is back!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize