I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
