we have officially lost it.
too bad you live with your parents still
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This is my gift to your gina
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