When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
