Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We had sex on a dog bed..
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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