Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
