1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
