Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
